Now I wasn't going to say anything about this because I didn't want to alarm any of you. I know how much each and every one of you worries about my health. But now that the uncontrolled media has gotten a hold of the story, I guess I'll go ahead and tell you that I had hernia surgery a couple of weeks ago.

But don't fret!! Everything turned out okay despite the fact that Cheney was in the operating room and kept spitting on the scalpel. And I wasn't too thrilled about having Rumsfeld as my anesthesiologist.

Most importantly, my hair is growing back just fine. It does, however, itch like crazy. I just hope none of the other inmates mistake my constant scratching as some sort of invitation.