Bush has honored three of the top architects of the unlawful invasion of my peace loving nation with so-called Medals of Freedom.

The first one, General Tommy Franks, I have no problem with. He was the top military commander in charge of the aforementioned unlawful invasion, and he did a brilliant job. Yes, even I was impressed! Of course, things went to crap for the United States right about the time the President declared an end to "major combat operations," but that was more Rumsfeld's fault.

The second name, Paul Bremer, is a somewhat surprising choice. He was the civilian administrator of the occupation until this past June, and what, exactly, did he accomplish? Nothing, really. Sure, he tried to rebuild Iraq, but the insurgents kept blowing everything up again. And a couple of months ago he finally came out and said that the United States should have had more troops on the ground from day one. You would think such candor would have disqualified him.

But the final choice, George Tenet, is the one that really burns the hair on my tuckus. He was the director of the Central Infidel Agency during the planning of the invasion. He's also the one who personally assured President Bush that finding WMD's in my country was a "slam dunk."

Slam dunk, hell. Not only did he miss the basket, he was outside dribbling the basketball across the frikkin' football field!!

That's on top of completely blowing the intelligence on Osama's planned 9/11 attacks! If anything, the man should have been fired for his incompetence. But instead Bush honors this guy with a medal!?!?!

By the way, have you seen the reports that I planned this insurgency even before the United States launched its invasion? Pretty impressive, eh?