Rumsfeld paid a surprise visit to Iraq yesterday, supposedly to discuss the status of the country's security forces with that so-called prime minister guy. The real reason for his trip, however, was to attempt to personally deliver a new TiVo unit for my cell.

Yes, I know it sounds like a surprisingly sweet gesture on his part, but I'm not fooled. He's trying to soften me up before trying to negotiate the United States' surrender.

Anyway, the first thing I plan to record is that new show on FX called Over There.It's about a group of infidel soldiers serving here in Iraq. So far they haven't asked me to appear in it, but when they do, I'll be sure to wink at all of you.

Just don't expect me to stand around signing stinkin' autographs.

The show has been getting pretty good advance reviews. It's from Steven Bochco, who has in the past produced shows such as Hill Street Blues, LA Law, NYPD Blue, and my personal favorite, the immortal Cop Rock.

Hmmmm.... Actually, I just had a brainstorm: A gritty military action/drama/musical series in which soldiers from both sides suddenly burst into song in the middle of firefights.

Just remember you heard it here first.