Some of you are bothered by my repeated outbursts in court, and wonder if it's hurting my chances. Well, while I certainly appreciate your concerns, I would like to assure you that it's all part of my well-crafted legal strategy.

You see, while my attorneys quibble over the fine points of various legal technicalities, my demeanor is aimed squarely at my many supporters. They find it reassuring to see that while I may be imprisoned, shackled, reduced to asking for permission to go to the bathroom, and forced to engage in naked human pyramid building, I'm also still very much in charge of Iraq.

Hey, if Bush can be delusional, why can't I?