This is terrible news, and it just goes to show you that nothing is fair in this crazy, mixed up world of ours.

Slobodan Milosevic has died.

Yes, it is sad, isn't it? In fact, I've been sitting here on my metal toilet crying about it for the last hour. Sloby was my hero in many ways, and I was his. We despots have to stick together when it comes to standing up against the democracies of the world, you know. Otherwise they'll trample all over you, and try to impose human rights on your country. And what fun is it being a tyrant if you have to allow freedom of expression?

More recently, I have been trying to model my defense on his trial. Did you know they've been trying him since 2002? Oh, yes! The man was a genius at forcing trial delays, offering legal motions, and creating a general circus atmosphere in court.

Kind of like O.J. Simpson, if you can remember that far back.