Lately there has been much concern that the proposed Iraqi constitution will be used to oppress to women. It is too early to say whether that will be the case, but there are some hopeful signs that women will be held in equal regard to men in the future.

For example, yesterday Iraq had its first female suicide bomber! Now is that a giant leap forward for equal rights, or what?

The incident happened in Tall Afar. If the city's name sounds familiar, that's because there was just a major crackdown on insurgents in the area. The fact that she was able to get through checkpoints and infiltrate a line of police recruits before blowing herself to teeny tiny bits also raises serious questions about what is going on here in Iraq.

For example, what does a female martyr get when she arrives in paradise? Is she still rewarded with the 72 virgins? And if so, are they lesbian virgins? And what exactly is a lesbian virgin anyway? Does that mean she's a lesbian who hasn't been with another woman yet, but it's okay if she's slept with men? And does the martyr take turns with the 72 virgins individually, or do they all, er, "do what lesbians do" all at once, all over the floor?

I find myself wrestling with these profound questions of religious dogma, but my knowledge in these matters is limited to what I've seen on the Playboy Channel. Too bad I don't have any significant meaningful ties to Osama, or I'd ask him.